Syrupy Shorts - One-Shots
by Mapl3 Syrup
Summary: A collection of one-shots written by the not-so-famous Syrup, mostly inspired by prompts found online. Short #3: Seashore, Seashore: If her mother is thunder and her father is lightning, then Blaze is a storm. Their storm. But when Blaze's obsession with the sea leads to her mother's death, her perception of her small family of three changes forever. A forum challenge.
1. Misconceptions

**Hey guys! I'm guessing no one remembers me from my What If one-shots, but I'm here again with another one-shot compilation book. This one does not have anything to do with What-Ifs specifically, (though perhaps one day I might finally have the inspiration to continue with that one, though under a different style) instead just being a one-shot compilation book.**

 **Most of these are/will be prompt-inspired. This first one is inspired by a prompt for a story compilation on BlogClan that I really liked.**

 **The prompt was (in Syrup-simplified-what-I-remember form): an OC of yours has a mate who they love greatly. However, their mate has recently started acting weird and somewhat suspicious and they are talking to other toms/she-cats. Your OC is starting to get rather suspicious of their mate. Meanwhile, a cat from another Clan tells your OC that they are into said OC. What does your OC do? Do they stay with their mate who they love or do they leave your mate for the other cat?**

 **My spin on this prompt will feature POVs from both cats in the mate relationship. Birchstripe is the main cat, with Mistywing being the mate who is acting weird.**

 **A quick note since indents don't exist on FFN (D:) : There is one big chunk of memory right at the very beginning. There are also two or so other parts of the story where the cat currently narrating remembers something the other said before. That will be in quotations and italicized on its own line to help clarify that it is a memory.**

 **Welp, please enjoy and feel free to review! I'm curious to know what others think about this shot.**

* * *

 **Misconceptions**

. - . - . - . mistywing . - . - . - .

"What do you _mean_ , I'm pregnant?" I exclaimed, staring at Robintail, the ThunderClan medicine cat. My eyes widened frantically. "No, this can't be happening!"

 _The warming newleaf sun looked down on me and my wonderful mate as we sat in the clearing, tails entwined as we chatted. I was telling Birchstripe about my border patrol, his amber eyes gleaming attentively as he listened to me. Our pelts were sleek and glossy in the sunlight, all of ThunderClan thriving with the end of leafbare. Though I did enjoy telling the story, I was mostly happy to be able to spend quality time like this with Birchstripe, who I loved more than anything._

 _I paused in my story as I caught sight of Blossomtail's three kits taking their first steps out of the nursery, my blue gaze lighting up with adoration. The trio had been born about half a moon ago and had been the talk of the Clan for quite a while. The tortoiseshell queen kept close to her kits, her gaze never straying from them and with good reason for her worry: the fourth kit of the litter, later named Tigerkit, had been stillborn. Blossomtail refused to lose another kit._

 _"Aren't they precious?" I cooed to Birchstripe, my eyes still trained on the kits. I purred with amusement as one of the kits stumbled over his own paws, tumbling to the ground in a mess of flailing paws. "They're just adorable!"_

 _"They are cute," Birchstripe agreed. "Though, they're going to be so much trouble in a moon or two when they can walk better and are tired of playing mossball."_

 _"Shh, don't be so negative!" I told him, my eyes bright as I swatted a paw at him._

 _He exclaimed in protest, leaning away from my paw. "Oh, come on! I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just stating the truth!"_

 _I laughed softly, tail flicking from side to side as I gazed at Birchstripe lovingly. "You're such a pessimist."_

 _"But I'm_ your _pessimist," Birchstripe answered, purring as he looked at me._

 _I smiled slightly, my blue eyes trained on him now. I loved Birchstripe more than anything else in the world – and as long as Birchstripe was alright, his pessimism didn't matter. As long as Birchstripe was with me, everything would be fine._

 _Blinking affectionately at him, I nodded. "Yeah._ My _pessimist."_

 _"And you're my optimist," the light brown tabby tom added, touching his nose to mine._

 _"I should hope so!" I purred, the sound rumbling in my chest. "I'd like to hope I mean something to you."_

 _"Everything," Birchstripe told me. "You mean everything to me."_

 _I touched my nose to his, the two of us falling into a comfortable silence as we sat, our gazes drifting back towards the kits. I rested my head on the light brown tabby tom's shoulder, our pelts brushing as we watched Blossomtail's three kits teeter around the clearing._

 _The tom who had fallen earlier, a brown tabby tom, was scampering around the clearing with his two sisters now. His stubby tail waved from side to side as he tried to keep his balance, his amber eyes wide as he soaked in all the details of camp._

 _One of his sisters, a tortoiseshell just like her mother named Petalkit, let out an awed gasp as looked up at the highledge. "Brindlestar makes announcements from_ that _?"_

 _"It's not that high!" Twigkit, a brown tabby like her brother, boasted. "I bet I could climb up there in two moments!"_

 _"Bet you can't!" Petalkit retorted._

 _"Yeah," the tom, Adderkit, agreed. "You're too tiny to climb it that fast!"_

 _I chortled with amusement at their interactions. "Aren't they cute? I wonder if my sister and I were like that when we were their age."_

 _"You'd be the one agreeing Twigkit could climb it," Birchstripe stated with a purr, twitching his whiskers. "_ Optimist _."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "And I guess you'd be Adderkit."_

 _"Why, of course!" My mate mewed extravagantly, raising his head high. "I'm the mighty Birchstripe! There is no cat more pessimistic than I am!"_

 _"Agreed," I purred. "Lucky for you, you've got me to brighten you up."_

 _Birchstripe faked offense, amber eyes sparkling. "Are you calling me a grump?"_

 _I hummed in agreement. "You bet I am," I declared, bopping him on the nose with a paw._

 _"And I thought you were an optimist!" The light brown tabby tom said, sighing dramatically. "Oh, what am I to do? Even the beloved Mistywing doesn't believe in me! I'm just a grumpy ol' badger!"_

 _"Don't you forget it!" I purred, swatting a paw at Birchstripe._

 _Birchstripe huffed again, falling silent. Twigkit was attempting to climb up to the highledge, with Blossomtail snagging her daughter by her scruff and swinging her back down to the ground every time she attempted it. The tortoiseshell queen eventually planted herself between her kits and the highledge, amber eyes stern as she scolded her kits._

 _"It was Petalkit's idea," Twigkit said defensively._

 _"No, it wasn't!" the tortoiseshell kit squeaked defensively._

 _Twigkit spun to face her sister, swiping a paw at her. The two broke out into a squabble, Adderkit sticking his tongue out at his littermates as he watched. Their mother heaved a sigh, rounding them up and sending all three back to the nursery. They whined, upset at the fact that their time in the camp was being cut short, before trudging back to the den with Blossomtail in tow._

 _"I think the only cats that they're going to be causing any trouble are Blossomtail and Mudwhisker," I mewed to Birchstripe._

 _He hummed in response._

 _After a few more seconds, I peeled my head off of his shoulder to look at Birchstripe. "You know…" I mewed tentatively, not sure how he'd react to my next words. "It might be nice to have kits of our own someday. Just imagine it, little copies of me and you running around camp!"_

 _"And bothering us day and night," Birchstripe reminded me._

 _I kept my gaze on him. "What would you think of having kits though?"_

 _"I…" The light brown tabby tom met my eyes, looking almost solemn. I wondered what he was thinking. "I'm not too keen on being a father, Mistywing. I don't really want kits."_

 _Silence fell between us for a few long seconds. I thought over his answer, realizing I couldn't say I was surprised he wasn't looking to be a father. I also realized I didn't really mind. Turning my attention away from my thoughts and back to the light brown tabby tom, I saw that he had turned his gaze away. I knew him well enough to tell that he was a little panicked. He must be thinking I wouldn't want to be mates anymore because he didn't want kits._

 _"That's okay," I mewed softly._

 _He looked back towards, his amber eyes meeting my warm blue ones._

 _I shot him a smile, moving to rest my paw on his. "We don't have to have kits to be happy. We have each other, and that's all we need, isn't it?"_

 _"Yeah," Birchstripe agreed, a purr rising in his throat as he looked at me. "…You're the most wonderful she-cat in the world, Mistywing."_

 _I purred, touching my nose to his._

 _We didn't need kits to be happy. Birchstripe and I had each other._

"I _can't_ be pregnant!" I told Robintail anxiously. "I _can't_! Birchstripe doesn't _want_ kits! What am I supposed to do? What if he refuses to do anything with them? What if he dumps me because I'm expecting?"

The red-and-white tom gazed at me sympathetically. "You still have a moon before you'll have to move into the nursery. I'll tell Owlnose to not send you on too many patrols until then. In that time, you can figure out what you're going to do. Mudwhisker might be a good cat to talk to – he didn't really want kits, but he became quite the happy father when Blossomtail and he had their second – surviving – litter."

I widened my eyes. "Oh, shoot! What about Twigpaw? Who's going to mentor her when I'm in the nursery?"

"Brindlestar and Owlnose will figure that out," Robintail assured me. The tom rested his tail on my flank. "Maybe try talking to some of Birchstripe's friends, as well. I'm sure they can help you out."

"Okay," I sighed, but my mind was still whirling. "That's a good idea. Thank you, Robintail."

He nodded to me, turning back to a pile of herbs and beginning to sift through it again. Slowly, I padded out of Robintail's den, wincing as I spotted Birchstripe by the fresh-kill pile, waving his tail at me.

I shook my head at him – there was no way in all of StarClan that I could face him right now – and padded over to where Thistleflight, Birchstripe's brother, and Cedarfoot, one of Birchstripe's best friends, sat outside the warrior's den.

 _Please, StarClan. I need your strength if I'm going to figure out what to do about all of this._

. - . - . - . birchstripe . - . - . - .

I frowned, a little confused as Mistywing turned away from me and headed towards Thistleflight and Cedarfoot. She _had_ just come out of the medicine cat den – maybe she wasn't feeling so well. Whatever. I could talk to her later.

Part of me was almost tempted to try and eavesdrop on whatever conversation Mistywing was having with my brother and my friend, but I knew Mistywing wouldn't want that. Besides, I _did_ promise Adderpaw I'd take him out battle training alone today. The tabby apprentice claimed he wanted to learn some new moves before he sparred with his sisters again, wanting to be the victor.

Finishing the mouse I was nibbling at, I rose to my paws and trotted over to where Adderpaw sat outside his den. "You ready to go training?"

Adderpaw jumped to his paws, brown tabby tail lashing behind him. "You bet I am! I'm going to crush Petalpaw and Twigpaw the next time we fight!" His amber eyes gleamed with anticipation.

Mistywing had said Adderpaw and I were alike when we were just kittens, and we still certainly shared a resemblance in personality. Though Adderpaw was definitely a lot more enthusiastic than I ever remembered being, it was a pleasure to train the sturdy little tom. He'd make a good warrior one day.

"You better," I agreed, twitching my whiskers. "I'm going to show you how to knock their legs right out from under them today. They won't be expecting that!"

Adderpaw grinned. "Let's go, then!"

He hared towards the camp entrance and I followed, just a few pawsteps behind as Blossomtail used to be when he was a kit. Adderpaw nearly ran into his father, Mudwhisker, as he padded into camp at the head of a returning border patrol.

"Are you heading out training?" Mudwhisker asked with a purr, nuzzling his son warmly.

The father-son pair were almost identical except for the fact that Adderpaw had Blossomtail's amber eyes while Mudwhisker's eyes were a deep green. It was actually kind of interesting to me to try and find different aspects of Adderpaw's parents in the tom's personality.

"Yeah! Birchstripe's gonna teach me some fancy battle moves. Petalpaw and Twigpaw won't stand a chance the next time we fight!" Adderpaw boasted.

…He also quite like his sister, Twigpaw, who was Mistywing's apprentice.

"I bet they won't! Birchstripe told me you're turning into quite the fighter," Mudwhisker mewed.

Adderpaw shot me a proud look, happy to hear his mentor thought he was doing well.

"I'm going to be the best fighter in all of ThunderClan!" Adderpaw agreed. "But, I need to learn that move first!"

Mudwhisker twitched his whiskers. "I like that attitude. Well, I'd best let you and Birchstripe be if you two want to train!"

Adderpaw nodded, sliding past his father and out of camp. I followed, sharing an amused look with Mudwhisker as I did so.

Out in the forest, I pulled ahead of Adderpaw, running through what he could sense as we walked towards the training clearing. At one point, we paused so Adderpaw could catch a mouse that was wandering nearby; he buried it underneath a holly bush to retrieve later.

"Okay, we're at the clearing," Adderpaw announced, bouncing into the center of said clearing. "Show me the move? Please?"

I nodded with a grin, padding towards my apprentice. "Of course. That's why we came here, isn't it?" Not waiting for a response, I continued, "The trick is to hit the tendon on the back of a cat's joint. It's easier to hit both paws on the same joint, but when you're more experience and you've developed more muscles and paw reach, you can hit two joints at once."

Adderpaw nodded. "Okay! Are you going to show me how it works first?"

"I don't know if you can _see_ the backs of your legs," I pointed out. "But yes, I'm going to demonstrate on you."

In just a few moments, I had struck my paws at the joint of one of Adderpaw's rear legs, striking the tendon and forcing his leg to buckle. Adderpaw let out a yowl of surprise as he stumbled, regaining his balance after a few heartbeats.

"That's awesome!" Adderpaw declared with wide eyes. "Let me try it on you!"

I nodded, turning so Adderpaw could see my hindlegs better. "Remember, right on the joint, as hard as you can."

The first time Adderpaw swung his paws, he misaimed slightly and only caused me to stumble. But the second time was a strong, and my leg buckled underneath me. I had been expecting it, so I braced myself properly, but I knew Adderpaw would be all the more satisfied if I stumbled so I pretended like it had completely knocked me off balance.

"Well done!" I praised, craning my head to look at him over my shoulder.

Adderpaw beamed, proud. "Can I try it again?"

"Of course. We'll keep doing this for a little bit to strengthen the move," I told him, and braced myself for the proceeding blows.

When we were done with battle practice, Adderpaw and I headed back towards camp, stopping to retrieve his mouse from underneath the holly bush. Back at camp, we split, and I padded towards the warriors' den, ready to go to sleep.

Just as I was about to enter the den, Mistywing slid out. She looked surprised to see me, blue eyes quickly widening.

"Hey," I mewed warmly, nuzzling her. "Where are you going? The sun is setting!"

"Just out for a walk," Mistywing mewed, sounding oddly detached as she pulled away from me. She looked almost distressed, and I frowned with concern. "I didn't burn off a lot of energy today."

I tilted my head. "May I come with you? We haven't had a night walk in a while."

"It's only been half a moon!" Mistywing exclaimed, back to her normal self for just a split second as her blue eyes sparkled. "But no thank you, I'm not in a particularly social mood."

"Okay then," I shrugged. "See you tomorrow."

I slid into the warriors' den, curled up in Mistywing and I's nest, and settled in for the night. I could spend time with Mistywing tomorrow.

. - . - . - . birchstripe . - . - . - .

But Mistywing wasn't there when I woke up. Instead of being curled up in our nest, she was sleeping in Dewmist's old nest. Dewmist herself was currently sleeping in the nursery, being the mother of my good friend Ashwhisker's two young kits, meaning her nest was open – she and Ashwhisker both had long fur and preferred to sleep in separate nests during Greenleaf when it was hot – but that didn't explain why Mistywing was sleeping in her nest; after all, we'd never had a problem with the heat being shorthaired.

I shrugged and rose to my paws, carefully treading through the maze of nests and waking warriors, crossing the den to Mistywing.

She was blinking her eyes sleepily, letting out a tiny yawn. I smiled at the sight of my beautiful, absolutely wonderful, silver-and-white tabby mate. _Hopefully nothing is wrong. This is the third weird thing she's done._

"Hey there, sleepyhead. What are you doing in Dewmist's nest?" I asked, leaning over to give her an affectionate lick.

Mistywing bristled with surprise, looking up at me. "Oh… You, uh, were looking really peaceful last night when I came back from my walk. I didn't want to disturb you."

I purred. That sounded just like something sweet Mistywing would do. "Thanks. Though you could never disturb me, you know. You're my optimist."

She flinched when I said the term and I tilted my head, confused.

"Oh, nothing. Sorry. I thought I heard something," Mistywing mewed quickly, not meeting my gaze.

I twitched my whiskers, amused. "Okay, then. Let's get something to eat before Owlnose sends out the dawn patrol!"

Mistywing hesitated, then nodded, her gaze straying to some cat behind me. She started for the den entrance after a heartbeat; I looked over my shoulder to see it was Thistleflight she had been looking at. With a shrug directed to my brother, I followed my mate out of the den and toward the fresh-kill pile.

The silver-and-white tabby she-cat selected a squirrel, her favorite, and carried it to our normal meal spot.

I crouched next to her, twining my tail with hers and dipping my head to take a bite.

"Mind if I join you two?"

Mistywing and I looked up see Thistleflight standing before us, a vole in his jaws. He normally ate by himself or with Cedarfoot or Ashwhisker, our good friends, but I supposed Ashwshiker had been spending a lot of time with Dewmist recently. Not to mention Cedarfoot was quite grumpy in the mornings. I guessed he just wanted to socialize. Still, I found it a little weird that Mistywing had been looking at Thistleflight in the den and now he was joining us for breakfast. Not to mention they talked yesterday.

"Of course!" Mistywing mewed enthusiastically. She separated her tail from mine, patting the ground next to her.

Thistleflight crouched down in the space she had beckoned him to, my nimble brown-and-white brother meeting Mistywing's look with his green eyes.

I couldn't help it. I knew Mistywing was faithful, I knew she loved me, I knew we had a great relationship, but… why was she acting so weird in the past day? And why was she spending so much time with Thistleflight and my friends?

 _These are ridiculous thoughts,_ I told myself firmly. _Besides, it's only been a day of odd behavior._

I didn't entwine Mistywing and I's tails again, though, and I somewhat hated myself for the fact that I was even beginning to doubt my wonderful mate.

"Okay, guys, time for the morning hunting patrol!" Owlnose called, sliding out from his brother Robintail's den where he and the medicine cat must have been talking. "I want Ashwhisker to lead the hunting patrol. Mudwhisker, Cedarfoot, Thistleflight, and Mistywing will go with you, though Twigpaw will not be accompanying you."

The deputy turned his gaze to where a confused Twigpaw stood between Adderpaw and Petalpaw. "You and your siblings are going to have a hunting assessment today. I'll be filling in Mistywing's place at the assessment, while Birchstripe and Foxclaw will, of course, join the apprentices and I. We'll head out in a just a few moments now, after I finished instructing the rest of the patrols for the day."

I didn't pay much attention to the rest of Owlnose's words, instead being quite confused. Mentors _always_ assessed their own apprentices – deputies never subbed in. And there wasn't supposed to be another hunting assessment for another half a moon! Why was Owlnose suddenly having us do it now, especially when Twigpaw could be earning valuable experience just by being on the hunting patrol with a group of warriors?

"Well, I guess Mistywing and I should get going," Thistleflight chirped, swallowing his last bite of vole and hopping onto his paws.

Mistywing nodded, straightening as well. My gaze shot to her, still confused.

Thistleflight cut between Mistywing and I, cutting off my view. "After you," my brother stated, dipping his head to my mate.

The silver-and-white tabby she-cat nodded silently, padding towards the camp entrance where Ashwhisker, Cedarfoot, and Mudwhisker had already gathered.

I forced myself to look away. Adderpaw would be waiting for me to come and brief him on the hunting assessment.

. - . - . - . mistywing . - . - . - .

I hated how being pregnant changed how I felt around Birchstripe. I was just so entirely nervous during breakfast and yesterday, nervous that he'd find out I was pregnant and get upset. Robintail said so few words yesterday, yet my entire life has changed. I feel like I can't look Birchstripe in the eye anymore.

He doesn't want kits. He said so himself. And I told him we'd be happy without kits. Then I had to ruin it by being pregnant.

If Birchstripe doesn't want to be my mate anymore because I'm going to have kits… I don't know what I'll do. I love him, more than anything. But I'm pregnant, and I can't change that. In a few moons I'll have kits and I _will_ raise them and I _will_ care for them. I can't abandon them. But will my kits have a father raising them as well?

Now, just being around Birchstripe makes my paws itch. I'm scared, I'm worried, and worst of all, this whole situation is making me avoid my mate.

I think part of me believes that maybe, if I stay away from him, I'll stop loving him so much and then it won't hurt so much when he dumps me.

At least all the toms I've talked to have been really supportive. I don't what I would do without them.

Ashwhisker and Mudwhisker are the only toms who I haven't told about my situation yet who I want to tell. Luckily, Robintail told me he'd make sure Owlnose, who was conveniently Robintail's brother, would send me and all of the toms I was consulting with out on a patrol together so we could talk.

"This is an odd patrol," Ashwhisker commented as he led towards his chosen hunting spot. "Owlnose doesn't normally put Cedarfoot and Thistleflight and I all on the same patrol."

Cedarfoot and Thistleflight both glanced towards me and I hesitated, missing a step.

"That's because…" I mewed, my words trailing off.

Ashwhisker and Mudwhisker halted, looking towards me with confusion. Cedarfoot and Thistleflight paused as well, Thistleflight brushing his tail over my flank in silent support.

"It's because I'm expecting kits," I forced out. "And I know Birchstripe doesn't want kits, but here I am, pregnant, and I don't what to do or how to tell him."

I didn't tell them my fear that Birchstripe wouldn't want to be my mate anymore if I told him.

Ashwhisker widened his eyes. "You're expecting kits? That's amazing!" he mewed. "Lilykit and Violetkit are precious – Dewmist and I love them so much. It will be great, I promise."

Mudwhisker, meanwhile, was quietly thinking, his gaze lighting up with understanding. "And you thought I would be good to talk to, since I didn't want kits either," he guessed.

I nodded slightly, looking away.

"It was a little bit of a shock for me when Blossomtail told me," the older warrior admitted. "I wasn't quite sure what to think, since, again, I hadn't wanted kits. But I loved Blossomtail, and that was what mattered. And when Petalpaw, Twigpaw, and Adderpaw were born, I found I loved them just as much as I loved Blossomtail herself. I wouldn't change a thing."

 _But you're not Birchstripe,_ I thought. _You're not a pessimist._ But I didn't say my thoughts out loud.

"How did Dewmist tell you she was expecting?" Thistleflight asked, his tail still brushing my flank. I felt a flash of gratitude for my mate's brother and shot him a slight smile. He'd been so incredibly supportive of me ever since I told him.

Mudwhisker shrugged. "She asked me what I thought were good kit names. When I asked her why it mattered, she told me it mattered because in a moon and a half, we'd have kits of our own to name. It took me a few heartbeats to understand what she meant."

I nodded slowly, soaking what he said in.

"You'll be a great mother," Thistleflight told me, breaking up the silence. "And Birchstripe will be a great father, I'm sure. I guarantee he'll love your kits just as much as you will, I promise. You just have to tell him that you're expecting."

"I'm not ready," I protested. "I-I _can't_ tell him. Not yet."

Immediately, Thistleflight nodded. "Of course. Not until you're ready," he agreed.

Cedarfoot caught my gaze, the dark gray tabby nodding to me. "And until you're ready, we're here for you."

Mudwhisker and Ashwhisker nodded with agreement.

"Though, we should probably hunt _something_ ," Cedarfoot pointed out a second later. "We _are_ supposed to be a hunting patrol."

And in spite of it all, I managed a laugh at his words.

. - . - . - . birchstripe . - . - . - .

A little under half a moon quickly passed by since Mistywing first talked with Thistleflight and Cedarfoot. Mistywing kept talking with Thistleflight, as well as Cedarfoot, Ashwhisker, and Mudwhisker, but especially Thistleflight, and it _bugged_ me.

I keep telling myself to trust Mistywing, that she'll return to normal soon, but it feels like she and my brother are attached by the tail. It's like they never spend any time apart.

Not just that, but it almost feels like Owlnose is out to get me. I've only gone on one patrol with my _mate_ in the past half moon, while Thistleflight has gone on over ten, I'm sure. My other friends and Mudwhisker have also gone on plenty of patrols with Mistywing, and I just don't understand why.

Well, I think I do.

Thistleflight keeps evading any questions I ask him about Mistywing. Mistywing looks guilty any time I talk to her.

At this point, with all the evidence, I'm pretty convinced I've figure out what's been happening. Mistywing is in love with my brother, Thistleflight. She visited Robintail that one day to ask him for advice and to get him to tell Owlnose to keep Mistywing and I apart while she decides on how to tell me she doesn't want to be my mate anymore. But, despite it all, Mistywing is still compassionate, so she's been spending time with my friends to figure out how to tell me in the way that will hurt me the least. Meanwhile, she keeps wishing to spend time with Thistleflight, and vice versa. Though I still haven't figured out how Mudwhisker fits into everything.

Everything points to it. Whenever I approach Mistywing and she's with Thistleflight or one of the others, they stop talking all of the sudden. And when we're all in camp and they're talking, I see them sometimes shoot looks at me. Thistleflight's always near Mistywing, and a lot of the time he has his tail resting on her flank.

So Mistywing didn't love me anymore.

It hurt like some ShadowClan warrior was literally clawing my heart to pieces. Mistywing, the cat who I love more than everything and anything, has passed me over for my _brother_. I can't look either of them in the eye anymore.

 _"We don't have to have kits to be happy. We have each other, and that's all we need, isn't it?"_

I flinched as the memory surf through my head. No, Mistywing doesn't need me to be happy. She needs Thistleflight.

Rising to my paws, I stared down past my paws into Mistywing and I's shared nest. She still sleeps in Dewmist's nest every now and then, though we've still been sharing a nest plenty of nights. Well, why are we? She doesn't love me.

I tore the large, two-cat nest apart, forming two individual nests. The warriors in nests close to mine who are still awake looked at me with confusion as I dragged one of the nests away from mine until it's right next to Thistleflight's. They'll like that.

Right at that second, Mistywing and Thistleflight slide into the den, Mudwhisker following behind them. Mistywing spotted me and tilted her head in confusion as she realized our nest have been split.

"It's Greenleaf. I'm getting hot at night with the two of us sleeping together," I mewed simply.

Mistywing and Thistleflight shared a confused look as I turned and slid back to my nest. My nest, not our nest.

The phrase hung heavily in my mind.

I supposed I'd have to get used to that.

The next day passed quickly as I stayed away from Mistywing as best as possible, watching her hang out with Thistleflight and my friends instead. I wasn't sure what was worse: Mistywing not loving me anymore or her also just needing to steal all my friends in the process.

No, losing Mistywing was definitely worse.

Still, I knew that if we were in opposite positions – not that I could ever stop loving Mistywing, even now that she didn't love me – Mistywing would try to make the whole process easier for me.

 _She's too kind,_ I thought with a sigh. Only Mistywing would try and help make the cat breaking her heart feel better and less guilty. But if Mistywing could do it, so could I. I'd just slowly slip into the background and give Mistywing a seamless transition from me to my brother. Woo-hoo.

"The cats going to the Gathering with me-"

I snapped out of my stupor. With everything going on with Mistywing, I'd completely forgotten that the Gathering tonight. Hopefully, I'd be chosen for the patrol – the Gathering would surely distract me from _her_.

"-are Owlnose and Robintail, Toadclaw, Brambleheart, Silverfrost, Leopardwing, Raintail, Hazelfoot, Blossomtail, Birchstripe, Foxclaw, Adderpaw, Twigpaw, and Petalpaw."

I let out an internal whoop of satisfaction that Brindlestar had chosen me and none of my friends or Mistywing. A perfect night to forget about my heartbreak and focus on politics and other matters.

The journey to the Gathering island was quick. ThunderClan was the third Clan to arrive, WindClan oddly lagging. They'd probably show up soon, but until then we were free to socialize.

I was quickly approached by a golden tabby she-cat from ShadowClan with glittering yellow eyes who dipped her head to me. "Hey there. You're Birchstripe, right? I'm Honeyfur."

"Hey," I answered, nodding to her. "How's prey running in ShadowClan?"

She smiled slightly. "Oh, well enough! My sister just had her kits this moon, and they're quite adorable. I don't want kits myself – not that I have a mate – but they're still fun to watch."

"Agreed, I'm not looking to be a father either," I stated, somewhat surprised to find a cat who shared my opinions. Most cats didn't seem to have anything against having kits, though she _was_ a ShadowClan warrior. ShadowClan would never cease to surprise me.

"Really? A handsome tom like yourself?" Honeyfur mewed curiously.

I shrugged. "Nope. A mate is fine, but no kits."

Hoenyfur tilted her head. "I thought you had a mate? Mistywing, right?"

I barely withheld a flinch, instead shaking my head slightly. "Not anymore. She likes my brother better."

"Ouch," Honeyfur mewed sympathetically. Her yellow eyes sparkled as she drew closer to me. "Hey though, no mates, no responsibilities!"

"Except for patrols!" I pointed out.

Honeyfur shrugged, smiling slightly. "Fair point. Cricketstar wouldn't be very happy if I said I couldn't hunt simply because I'm single."

I laughed at that, imagining Honeyfur telling the fierce, grizzled ShadowClan leader this. It would be quite the scene indeed. "You say that like you don't plan on ever getting a mate."

"Well, I mean, I'd _like_ to have a mate," Honeyfur said, gazing at him. "You?"

"Maybe," I shrugged. "My first relationship didn't turn out so well."

Honeyfur reached out with her tail to tap my shoulder reassuringly. "I understand. Though I have to say I can't see why she left you. You're nice, you're funny, you're friendly – if I were your mate, I'd never leave you."

I smiled slightly at her words. Honeyfur wasn't Mistywing, but of course maybe that was good thing. She certainly made good company, especially for a ShadowClan cat.

"Too bad the warrior code forbids it then," I joked.

Honeyfur grinned, in return stating, "Maybe I'd join ThunderClan!"

"Maybe _I'd_ join _ShadowClan_ ," I teased back.

"Would you really?" Honeyfur mewed, turning inquisitive.

I hesitated under her intense yellow stare. "…For true love? Yes. I'd go for love."

WindClan chose that exact moment to arrive, Rabbitstar racing to join the other leaders on the announcement tree. The Gathering was called into motion and Honeyfur and I found a place to sit near the edge of the island, our gazes turning to the leaders.

Nothing much had happened in the past moon, it seemed. Honeyfur's nephews were mentioned, two kits named Yellowkit and Skykit. RiverClan also had a litter of kits as well as a new apprentice, while WindClan sported two new warriors. The announcements were over soon and the gathered warriors were left to chat for a little while longer.

Honeyfur turned to me, looking apprehensive but serious, once we were free to talk again. "Birchstripe… I know you're probably still sad about Mistywing, but I want you to know that... that I really like you. We've talked before, as apprentices and as warriors, even if you probably don't remember me because I was shyer back then and I was always with my sister, but I do really care for you. And if you wanted to join me in ShadowClan…"

Her words trailed off as I stared at her, shocked.

Was the ShadowClan she-cat asking me to be her mate?

"I know it'll be a little rough in the beginning because most of ShadowClan won't trust you, but we'll find our way though it. _Together._ And neither of us want kits, so that part is perfect, too!" Honeyfur continued quickly.

I slowly opened and closed my mouth, not sure what to say. "I…"

"Just think about it, will you? I know you probably don't care about me like I do you, but if you wanted to join ShadowClan and give it a try… and you wouldn't have to see Mistywing all the time either, and… and… I'll meet you at the clearing at the border on the night of the quarter moon and you can tell me your answer then, okay?" Honeyfur rushed.

The golden tabby jumped to her paws and quickly joined her Clanmates. Right on time, for Brindlestar leapt down from the announcement tree and signaled for ThunderClan to gather by the tree bridge.

Slowly, I turned and padded over to join my Clanmates.

. - . - . - . mistywing . - . - . - .

I was going to do it. I'd been gathering my courage all night, and Mudwhisker and Thistleflight, as well as Cedarfoot and Ashwhisker, had been giving me encouragement and support too. As soon as Birchstripe returned from the Gathering patrol, I was going to tell him I was pregnant.

The toms and I jumped to our feet as we heard the thundering sound of many pawsteps coming closer. The Gathering patrol was back!

I took a deep breath, told myself it was going to be alright, and watched at the tired group of ThunderClan warriors padded back into camp. Birchstripe was near the back of the patrol and he started straight for the warriors' den; I bounded over to intercept him.

"Birchstripe!" I called, skidding to a halt beside the light brown tabby tom.

Amber eyes glanced at me. "What?"

I tilted my head. Birchstripe had been growing a little distant recently, and though that had been part of my hope, it still hurt and confused me. This morning he felt especially distant. Still, I refused to let myself be deterred and I shot a quick glance over at my shoulder at Thistleflight.

He gave me a grin and confident-looking nod in return and I nodded slightly back, glanced back at Birchstripe.

"Birchstripe, I have something important to tell you," I mewed, and gathered up my breath to drop the stone once and for all.

"Maybe tomorrow?" Birchstripe interrupted. "I'm really tired. I kind of just walked to the island and back, Mistywing. I'm sure we can talk after I'm rested."

I froze. I hadn't been expecting Birchstripe to… to turn me away?

"It's really important to me that I tell you," I told him. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for a while now! Can we please do this now?"

Birchstripe narrowed his gaze. "I'm sure it won't change anything whether you tell me today or tomorrow. I'd like to get a full rest, but I promise we can get it over with later."

With that, he turned and finished sliding into the warriors' den.

I stared after him, frozen to the spot. _What just happened?_

Thistleflight bounded over to me. "What happened?" he asked, sounding confused. "Did it go well?"

I shook my head, my head and tail drooping. "He said he was tired. He told me I could tell him later," I mumbled. "I didn't get the chance to tell him."

Thistleflight's tail brushed against me. Comfort.

"You've got this, Mistywing," he told me firmly. "Tomorrow will be the day. You've got this."

. - . - . - . birchstripe . - . - . - .

I curled into my nest with a slight sigh. I'd known Mistywing would have to tell me about her and Thistleflight someday, but especially after my conversation with Honeyfur I couldn't bear to hear Mistywing tell me the news quite yet. It was one thing thinking it. It was another hearing the love of my life tell me she didn't want me anymore.

 _"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for a while now!"_

Yeah, she sure had been. So long that I had already figured out her big news.

With a bitter frown on my face, I curled my tail over my nose and settled down to sleep.

In the morning, I didn't get up when I first awoke. Instead, I lay in my nest, my thoughts returning to Honeyfur from the night before. It was true that if I joined ShadowClan, I wouldn't ever have to deal with Mistywing or Thistleflight or my "friends" again. And Honeyfur herself was nice, friendly, and funny. She seemed smart too, as well as understanding. Really, there wasn't anything bad I could say about the ShadowClan she-cat.

She didn't say that we had to be mates, just that she wanted me to give her a chance. And… If I didn't have Mistywing anymore, then maybe it would be worth giving Honeyfur that chance.

I sighed, rolling over in my nest. No matter how nice Honeyfur seemed, no one could ever replace Mistywing. The silver-and-white tabby she-cat had broken my heart, true, but even then, I still loved her more than anything.

Which was, most likely, a stupid move. Continuing to love the cat who abandoned you for your brother? I couldn't think of any good that might come from that.

If I stayed in ThunderClan, my love for Mistywing could make things hard. Then again, same could be said for if I joined Honeyfur in ShadowClan.

But… if I joined Honeyfur in ShadowClan, maybe I would learn to get over my love for Mistywing.

Maybe I'd learn to love Honeyfur.

I pictured the golden tabby she-cat in my mind, yellow eyes sparkling with amusement. I could be happy with her, right? She was a good cat, and she was nice, and the only thing I disliked about her was the fact that she was ShadowClan. Surely she could fill the whole in my life Mistywing had left me with.

Noise in the clearing reminded me that I _did_ need to get up so I could go train Adderpaw. Hopefully we could head out before Mistywing could get to me. I really didn't need to hear her break up with me right now.

Sliding out of the warriors' den, I spotted Adderpaw by the fresh-kill pile and bounded over to him. "Come on, we're going battle training. But first, I want to see how fast you can get to the training clearing!"

Running for the camp entrance with an anticipating Adderpaw on my heels, I kept my gaze strictly ahead of me, even as Mistywing rose to her paws and took a tentative step towards me, Thistleflight and Sunstream at her side.

I hadn't seen much of Sunstream recently. She and Thistleflight had been close – or still were close? I wasn't sure. – but Thistleflight had spending all his time with Mistywing recently.

A bummer. I was pretty sure Sunstream had liked Thistleflight, but she must have been told by now that Thistleflight and Mistywing were mates. I wondered when the news would reach the rest of the Clan. Surely I'd be the laughingstock of the Clan then, the tom who lost his mate to his brother.

I flattened my ears and slid out of camp, running as fast as I could.

Despite my longer legs, Adderpaw kept up with me pretty well, not falling too far behind. Still, he was panting by the time we reached the training clearing; we'd have to work on his endurance sometime.

I wondered who would be made his mentor after I left for ShadowClan on the quarter moon. Maybe Thistleflight – it would be fitting, after all. First, he takes my mate, then he takes my apprentice.

True brotherhood right there.

My thoughts of Thistleflight and Mistywing made the quarter moon go by rapidly – with all of StarClan's luck, I'd managed to avoid Mistywing for the first few days of the quarter moon, and after that it looked like her efforts to tell me we weren't mates anymore were waning. She still spent just as much time with my brother as before and I had easily made up my mind: tonight, I would tell Honeyfur I was ready to join ShadowClan.

I sat outside the warriors' den as the sun set, knowing I wouldn't be able to go until the Clan was asleep. Across the clearing from me, Thistleflight and Sunstream were engaged in a gleeful conversation, their faces alight with delight, Mistywing for once not with my brother.

I guess Sunstream hadn't been as romantically interested in Thistleflight as I had thought. Either that or Thistleflight was leading on either Sunstream or Mistywing.

Despite my effort to contain it, I bristled at the thought. I'd tried hard over the past few days, but I _still_ loved Mistywing. I'd always love Mistywing. Hopefully Honeyfur would be able to help me with that after I settle into Shadowclan.

But for the moment, I was as madly in love with Mistywing as before and the thought that my brother might be leading her on made me angry.

Still, Mistywing was smart. She would have known if Thistleflight was leading her on, and Thistleflight himself was a good cat. He wouldn't do such a thing.

The thought didn't stop me from leaping to my paws and stalking over to Thistleflight and Sunstream. The two looked up at me with confusion, though happiness still glanced through their expressions.

"Birchstripe?" Thistleflight mewed quizzically.

"Look, if you're going to steal my mate, you should at least be true to her!" I hissed, my tail lashing behind me.

Thistleflight jumped to his paws, eyes wide. "What? I don't know what you're talking about! I just asked Sunstream to be my mate, and she said yes!"

"So which one of them are you leading on?" I sneered. "Don't look so surprised. I see you and Mistywing, always hanging out, how you've always got your tail on her flank. By the way, you can tell Mistywing I know what she's trying to tell me. It didn't take me too long to figure out she was trying to break up with me, with all of your whispering around together."

My brother stared at me. "Birchstripe, Mistywing and I aren't mates! I-I don't think of her like that _at all_! She loves you so much, she's just been struggling to tell you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Well guess what? You two don't have to 'break the news' to me anymore. By tomorrow morning, Honeyfur will have brought me to ShadowClan and I can forget about Mistywing and you and the rest of ThunderClan!" I snarled, then turned and hared out of camp. Who cared if I left early? The sooner I did so, the sooner I could be away from this whole mess.

I ran all the way to the border, plopping down at the clearing to wait for Honeyfur. She showed up earlier than I expected, her eyes sparkling at the sight of me.

"Birchstripe! You came!" she exclaimed, running to the border and sitting down.

"Of course I did," I mewed, twitching my whiskers.

Honeyfur gazed at me. "And?"

"And I want to join you in ShadowClan."

The golden tabby she-cat purred warmly, hopping onto her paws to touch her nose to mine. The second before our noses would have touched, a yowl froze us in our tracks.

"Birchstripe! Stop!" Mistywing hared into the clearing, eyes wide as she raced up to me. "Please, you have to listen to me! I'm not in a relationship with Thistleflight, I swear!"

I turned away from Honeyfur, giving the panting silver-and-white tabby she-cat a look through narrowed eyes. "Oh yeah? _Really?_ Because that's not what it looks like to me."

Mistywing's blue eyes were wide with distress. "I-I couldn't figure out how to tell you I'm pregnant!"

Silence.

Mistywing took a quick breath and continued. "I knew you didn't want kits and then Robintail told me I'm expecting and then I didn't know what to do because I thought you wouldn't want to be my mate anymore if you knew I was going to have kits and Robintail told me maybe I should talk with some of your friends and Mudwhisker since he didn't want kits either to build up my confidence and think things through and all and then I tried to tell you after the Gathering but you didn't let me and then Thistleflight told me just now you thought we were mates and that you were going to join ShadowClan!"

She finished and panted some more.

I stared at her with wide eyes. "You're… _pregnant?"_

Mistywing dropped her beautiful blue gaze to the ground. "…Yeah. I am."

"And you thought I'd leave you because you were pregnant?" I stated.

"Well, you didn't want kits and I knew that and then suddenly I was expecting kits, and-"

I waved my tail to stop her. "Mistywing, I thought you were leaving me for my brother!"

"Excuse me, but I don't have all night. Could you please make up your mind as to whether you're joining ShadowClan or staying in ThunderClan?" Honeyfur asked, yellow eyes flashing and tone dull, almost monotone.

Mistywing let out a wail of distress. "You can't join ShadowClan! Our kits need a father, Birchstripe. You can't leave! What about our kits? What about _me_?"

I looked between the two she-cats, my heart panging. Mistywing was _pregnant_? She still loved me?

If Mistywing loved me, then my life was already perfect as it was. My gaze fell on Honeyfur, the golden tabby she-cat who had claimed to have feelings for me, and reality struck me.

I had been about to leave behind my life, my friends, and my family – and the she-cat I loved – for a sliver of a chance of life in a hostile Clan with a she-cat who, though she seemed nice, I didn't really know.

Even as I had silently despised my brother for stealing Mistywing, and felt bitter towards Mistywing for leaving me, I had never stopped loving Mistywing and I'd known that. I'd thought I could leave my feelings for her behind in ThunderClan.

Now Mistywing was expecting kits. The she-cat I loved was expecting the kits I'd never wanted… but Mudwhisker loved his kits despite his unwillingness to be a father. Everyday, the tom was proud of Adderpaw, Twigpaw, and Petalpaw.

I was proud of Adderpaw, too. I'd watched him bud as a kit and then bloom as an apprentice. In a few moons, I'd watch him a blossom as a warrior.

Some cats have told me the mentor-apprentice connection is almost like a father-son connection. You spend so many hours together, the older cat watching and guiding the younger cat as he grows up. One flower watching a seedling sprout into a flower as beautiful as the first.

I treasured my connection with Adderpaw. The sturdy little tom had found his own place in my heart, our mentor-apprentice bond strong.

Mistywing _was_ my heart. But maybe there was room for more.

I met Honeyfur's gaze and silently shook my head. My home was in ThunderClan, with my mate and my soon-to-be kits and my apprentice.

As the long-furred golden tabby she-cat turned and stalked off into ShadowClan territory, tail flicking behind her, I twisted and my amber gaze met Mistywing's blue one.

"We don't have to have kits to be happy," I mewed softly. "We have each other, and that's all we need, isn't it? But that doesn't mean we can't be happy with kits. Maybe these kits will make us just that much happier."

Mistywing smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "You're the most wonderful tom in the whole wide world, Birchstripe. Did you know that?"

And I leapt forwards and touched my nose to hers.

. - . - . - . epilogue . - . - . - .

My face split into a smile as I watched three kits take their first steps out of the nursery. Mistywing followed close behind them, her gaze lovingly trained on our three kits. Their eyes were wide as they looked around the ThunderClan camp, their stubby tails whipping behind them as they worked to keep their balance.

A silver-and-white tabby she-kit stumbled over her paws, the little kit a copy of her mother in appearance except all the way up to her beautiful blue eyes. But instead of Mistywing's slim build, she had my own stockier frame, tall and already broad-shouldered but just as unsteady on her paws as her siblings.

We named this one Ivykit.

Briarkit, a light brown-and-white tabby she-kit, turned to her sister and tried to help her up but almost ended up falling herself in the process. We named her after my late mother, Briarflight, who died a few seasons ago due to greencough. Briarkit shared my mother's caring nature but had the brave and intelligent nature of Mistywing. It's a beautiful combination.

Our last kit, another she-kit, had left her siblings already. She teetered by the fresh-kill pile, her eyes wide as she looked at the pile of prey. To the warriors, the fresh-kill pile isn't much of a sight unless if you're hungry, but for the kits it had to look like a mountain.

" _That's_ the fresh-kill pile?" the silver tabby she-kit breathed, her yellow eyes wide with awe. "It's gigantic!"

Ivykit and Briarkit stumbled their way over to their sister, following her gaze to the fresh-kill pile.

"It's not _that_ gigantic," Ivykit stated, though her blue eyes were wide as she looked at the pile. "I bet I could climb all the way up to the top before you can say 'mossbal!'"

"Bet you can't!" the silver tabby answered, gaze flaring. "Besides, I could climb it before you could say 'moss.'"

Briarkit tilted her head, studying the pile. "I don't think we're big enough yet to climb to the top."

Mistywing shot me an amused look from where she stood behind the kits, and I heaved myself to paws to join my family.

"What are you three doing? Climbing the fresh-kill pile?" I mewed, coming up beside my kits. I gave Briarkit, who was closest, an affectionate nuzzle on the forehead.

"Well, _maybe_ ," Ivykit mewed. "Briarkit doesn't think we can. But I bet we could!"

I purred warmly, gazing at my three kits. "I think you three could manage it sooner or later. But I also think climbing on the fresh-kill might be a little disrespectful to the prey."

"It was Honeykit's idea!" Ivykit exclaimed quickly, defensively.

Honeykit was what we named our last kit, the silver tabby she-kit with honey gold eyes. I hadn't been fond of the name as it referenced Honeyfur, who I had nearly gone to join ShadowClan with, but Mistywing had suggested it. She had said Honeyfur represented an important time in our life and in our relationship. She said that, after everything, this kit was proof that our bond was stronger than ever. That I was her pessimist, and she was my optimist, and these were the three things we loved above anything else.

Ivykit, Briarkit, and Honeykit. The only cat more precious to me than them was Mistywing, and I was never going to let her go again.


	2. Deconstruction

**Hey guys! It's me, Syrup, back with another one-shot :P**

 **This one is based off of a challenge for a forum called Beach Warriors. The prompt was supposed to deal with a specific character with the RP, but I'm making my own characters for this because it gives me a whole lot more creative liberties and freedom to design the characters. Definitely if I were to rewrite I can think of a few looser ends that I would like to change that aren't super plot-relevant but still come into play, but I'm pretty happy with how thi turned out.**

 **The prompt is: Palestar is slowly losing her mind. She can't fight it nor can she help when she calls her Clanmates cats long dead. Will her crumbling mind consume her or can she find the strength to stand on her paws until her last life?**

 **I used the same sickness Palestar had in the RP and the one-shot is still set with the Beach Warriors Clans: WaveClan, RockClan (aka SyrupClan basically :P), TideClan, and SandClan.**

 **The characters featured with POVs here are Emberstar, the leader of SandClan; Leafclaw, Emberstar's deputy; and Quailfoot, the medicine cat apprentice of SandClan.**

 **Well, I hope you enjoy reading this! If you did or have any thoughts/constructive criticisms, by all means please review! Feedback is great and you have something to say, I would love to hear it.**

 **Also, quickly in response to ChocolateAndWriting: (Love your username!) I definitely agree that Honeyfur came in a little abruptly... I wasn't quite sure how to weave her into the story, especially being as she had to immediately become a love interest as per the prompt. The memory idea is great! I wish I had thought of that when I was writing it.**

* * *

 **Deconstruction**

. - . - . - . emberstar . - . - . - .

The moon tonight is no wider than a claw scratch. I glared at it for not giving me the light I needed to see my way properly around the territory, though I knew the moon was simply following its natural cycle. Still, it wouldn't have hurt to be full tonight instead of the sliver of silver it was now.

I was the leader of SandClan, the strongest and fiercest Clan by the ocean. We were the Clan that didn't need to rely on the waves and the tides to fill our fresh-kill piles, the Clan that had no need to sulk in the shadows. We dealt with the heat of our territory and we hunted hard to feed our Clanmates, but we hunted well and we fought well, too. There is no Clan like SandClan.

But despite all of SandClan's strengths, we are not a Clan with strong night vision. That is a skill that the RockClanners, hiding in their caves and under their rocks, depend on.

We don't need night vision to survive. We don't need the ocean to survive. If we are the only Clan who can do such a thing, then there can be no question that we are the strongest.

Still, my proud thoughts didn't help me travel the territory either. I stumbled over a large root twisting out of the ground and practically face-planted into the ground.

I was very glad this was a solo outing. I _really_ didn't need any of my warriors seeing me fall like that.

Scrambling back to my paws, I shot a glare towards where I believed the root to have been, then turned away and kept my pace through the trees. This time, however, I was slightly slower. Just because no one else saw me trip didn't mean that the endeavor didn't hurt my ego.

It took me a little bit to reach my destination: a sandy ridge overlooking the ocean. The waves softly lapped at the shore, gently undulating against the beach. If I looked to either side, I could see the beginnings of WaveClan and TideClan territory. But I wasn't concerned with the borders at the moment. Instead, my fears were wrapped around the storm in my own head.

Whenever I had had the chance recently, I had taken it to escape camp by myself and flee to my ridge. My warriors were not fond of the water and I was no exception; however, being by the ocean made it less likely for anyone to stumble upon me, and when solitude was what I sought, this was where I came to claim my prize.

For the past moon, nightmares had been stirring in my head. It left me uneasy, not to mention nauseous. Images and events played out in my dreams that I had hoped to leave behind forever.

Clearly, I had not.

These nightmares plagued my sleep and my daytime alike – just yesterday, I had been talking to my deputy, Leafclaw, about patrols when his face had blurred and suddenly I was seeing _her_ face. As young and beautiful as she had been before she was killed.

Sometimes, when I look at the fresh-kill pile, the heads of the prey transform into _them_. And suddenly, instead of slain prey on the fresh-kill pile, it is the bodies of my dead kits stacked on top of one another.

Nettlekit, Lightningkit, Vixenkit, and Flamekit. None of them had deserved to die… and yet, I had failed to protect them. I had failed to protect any of them. Not my kits and not my mate.

I would be lying if I said I didn't blame myself for their deaths. If only I had fought harder, then maybe, just maybe, Aspenwing would still be alive. Maybe our kits would be warriors now, proudly serving SandClan alongside their fellow warriors.

But they weren't alive.

After many seasons, I'd finally managed to let the pain go. I'd finally managed to stop thinking about them, to stop spending my days moping after my lost family and to instead raise my head high and guide my Clan through harder times.

Yet I hadn't gotten over it like I had thought.

If I had, then why had they returned to haunt my dreams? Why was I still paralyzed by the sights and scenes I'd already replayed in my mind and sleep over and over again?

I whimpered, dropping into a crouch as I fluffed my fur against the night chill.

This wasn't how things were supposed to be. I was supposed to be Emberstar, the strong, fierce leader of his equally strong, fierce Clan. But no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't who they needed me to be. Not anymore.

"Emberstar? What are you doing here?"

I jumped to my paws, my head swirling and balance almost failing me as I spun around. The intruder was a brown tabby.

The world spun as the tabby's face blurred before my eyes.

"A-Aspenwing?" I choked out. "Y-you're… you're alive?"

My mate looked rather confused. "Emberstar, it's me. Leafclaw, your deputy. I saw you slipping out of camp, so I followed you."

"No," I mewed breathily. "You're lying. You're Aspenwing." Crashing forwards, I moved to press my nose to my mate's. "I missed you so much! A-are our kits with you? Are they still alive too?"

"Emberstar!" Aspenwing jerked away from me. "What are you talking about? I'm _Leafclaw_!"

I stumbled when Aspenwing moved away, tripping over my paws in my blunder and falling again. My head hit a rock in the sand and, with a sharp cry escaping my jaws, the world went black.

. - . - . - . leafclaw . - . - . - .

Carefully laying my unconscious leader down in the nest Dawnflight had directed me to, I shot a worried glance at the medicine cat. Her apprentice, Quailfoot, stood a few pawsteps behind with his blue eyes narrowed. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but Quailfoot _did_ have a reputation of being a rather stoic tom. According to what I had heard from some of the warriors, it made them really uneasy whenever he was treating one of their wounds.

"So you're saying he completely thought you were Aspenwing?" Dawnflight mewed, her high-pitched voice soft yet still toned with concern.

"Yeah," I affirmed, my gaze on Emberwing's dark red pelt. "Came up and tried to touch noses and everything. He started asking about their kits, too."

Dawnflight frowned, studying my pelt. "I can see some similarities between your appearance and Aspenwing's, but it's certainly obvious that you two are separate cats."

"It _was_ dark," I pointed out uncertainly.

"He should have still been able to tell you two apart by your scents," Quailfoot stated, speaking up at last.

I turned my gaze to the gray tabby, a little interested to finally hear him talk. Like most of the Clan, I didn't know much about him or his personality and even though our topic here was serious, I figured it was probably important to understand our future medicine cat.

Still, the dark made it hard to see him. It was early in the morning, not quite dawn yet, and it was as dark in the medicine cat den as it had been out in the forest. I could barely make out his face in the gloom.

"That's a fair point," Dawnflight agreed with a hum. "I'll be sure to ask StarClan about this at the half-moon meeting."

I shifted my weight uncertainly. "How long until then?"

"A couple of days." The female medicine cat reached out one cream paw to rest on mine, probably a move meant to assure me. It really didn't though. "I'm sure StarClan will have an answer."

I forced myself to nod, a lump in my throat. Hopefully this would just be a one-night occasion, because I really didn't want to take Emberstar's place as leader quite yet. "And what if he's still scrambled when he wakes up?"

"Then you will have to be ready to take over as leader at any moment," Quailfoot stated calmly. "StarClan has, so far, sent nothing to say that they no longer wish to see Emberstar as the SandClan leader. Thus, we will have to follow what he says as best we can – a leader's word is law, after all. However, there could very well be circumstances in which you will have to step up or go behind Emberstar's back to retain the safety and well-being of the Clan."

I stared at the young medicine cat. He couldn't be more than twenty moons old, yet he already spoke with the wisdom of an elder. I was suddenly very uneasy.

"Okay then," I said when I realized the medicine cats were waiting for an answer. "Roger that. I'm just going to head back to my nest now and hope for good things to happen."

They didn't respond to that, so I awkwardly left the den and quickly crossed to the warriors' den.

 _StarClan,_ please _let Emberstar be okay. I really don't want to be leader quite yet._

. - . - . - . quailfoot . - . - . - .

Though what Leafclaw had said about Emberstar's actions last night was quite concerning, I found it very easy for me to sleep through what little remained of the night. I blinked open my eyes at dawn when I heard the warriors milling about in the clearing and quietly got to my paws, stretching in my nest before padding into the center of the den.

Dawnflight was still sleeping, but I wasn't surprised. Though I knew most cats in the Clan considered Dawnflight to be no older than any of the senior warriors – she certainly didn't look nor act like an old cat – she was really older than most of the elders. As time went on, she slept more and more and heard less and less. It was a miracle that she had heard everything last night, but it would take a second miracle if she remembered it all.

Technically, my mentor should have retired to the elders' den many moons ago. However, she had needed to train her successor – me – and nowadays she said that she would simply prefer to finish out the last few moons of her life as the healer she always strived to be.

I can't deny her that, though I know the Clan will be shocked when she passes.

The responsibilities for the Clan weigh heavily on my shoulders. I must gather all the herbs, do all the foraging, and be in charge of all the sorting. Yet when it comes to my Clanmates and treating their wounds, I simply allow Dawnflight to go first.

I restrain.

It is my own service to Dawnflight. I give her the chances to heal and the chances to save lives that she wishes to have despite her age. I remain quiet, sitting in the shadows so Dawnflight may have the attention and the eyes of the Clan. When I _am_ needed to treat wounds and injuries, I do so silently, quickly. I leave the warriors sure to seek out Dawnflight whenever they have the choice.

Perhaps I do it because Dawnflight deserves to die happy.

I think it is because I won't be able to bear it when she dies. When she works, she is alive. When she sleeps, only the rise and fall of her flank tells me she hasn't passed on.

Pushing the thought away, I steeled myself for the day and turned to my mentor's nest. Gently nudging her awake, Dawnflight blinked sleepily up at me. "Is it morning already?"

"Yes," I answered quietly. "You should get up. Emberstar will be waking soon."

Dawnflight nodded, rising to her paws. Her solid cream pelt looks soft in the morning light, but her steely green gaze sets off the quiet look.

She is compassionate. She is kind. But Dawnflight is also very, very strong.

"Mmf- what am I doing in the medicine cat den?"

Our patient has awoken.

Dawnflight and I turned towards Emberstar, who has sprung to his paws. His dark red pelt bristled warily, and he looked confused.

"It's okay," Dawnflight soothed. "You were a little confused last night. Leafclaw brought you back to camp."

"Confused? What happened?" Emberstar echoed, his yellow eyes wide.

It may have just been me, but he appeared almost… scared?

"You thought Leafclaw was Aspenwing," my mentor mewed gently.

Emberstar shook his head. "No…" But his expression made it clear that he believed what we were saying.

A glance at Dawnflight told me that she didn't recognize any fear in Emberstar's face.

But as I saw this terrified, shaking leader, I knew he was scared beyond belief. This was a leader who was trying to hold himself together even as he knew he was falling apart. This was a leader plagued by shadows he could not disperse.

Yet it was also a leader who had successfully hidden his pain from his Clanmates.

Every Clanmate but me.

"I… I lost a life tonight. In my sleep," Emberstar stated.

Dawnflight and I shared an incredulous look. He hadn't been hurt – unless if hitting his head when he fell had done more damage than we had thought?

"So, I only have four lives left now," the leader continued. He stilled for a second, then shook his head as if he was answering a question only he could hear. "I'd best be on my way."

I waited for a few heartbeats after Emberstar left before following him out, leaving Dawnflight behind in the den. He had approached Leafclaw, probably to apologize for confusing him with Aspenwing, so I padded towards the fresh-kill pile. After I had selected a thrush, I casually slid just within hearing range to eat.

"-fine, Emberstar. I'm just glad you're okay now," Leafclaw was mewing.

Emberstar hesitated before nodding to his deputy. The dark red leader turned and was padding toward his den when he paused to shake his head.

Concerned and confused, I abandoned my thrush to bound over to Emberstar. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he replied with a wince. "Just getting this headache."

"I'm sure Dawnflight would happily give you some herbs for that headache. You must have hit your head hard on that rock," I stated. I tried to make my expression softer than my normal, stoic look.

Emberstar shook his head again, but I wasn't sure whether he was shaking to me or rather trying to shake away the pain. The leader staggered backwards, the shaking increasing. "No, I'm fine. Just give me a moment…"

I tilted my head, studying my leader when his head slowly raised again. His gaze was free of pain, but his eyes looked disturbingly cloudy.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my camp?" Emberstar mewed, his tone guarded.

"Uh… I'm Quailfoot, Dawnflight's apprentice?" I said uncertainly. It sounded more like a question than a statement and I winced.

Emberstar narrowed his eyes at me, spinning on his paws as he looked around the clearing. "I don't see Dawnflight. What have you done with her? Why are you in my camp?"

I took a very uncertain step backwards. "…Emberstar, Dawnflight is in the den. I'm in camp because I'm a SandClan medicine cat. Remember? My mother is Graybelly."

"Graybelly? The only cat with Gray- in their name is Graypaw, and she's an apprentice!" Emberstar snarled. The dark red leader drew himself to his full height, looming over me and making me feel rather small in comparison, which I didn't like. "Now I'm giving you one more chance, _intruder_. What are you doing in my camp?"

At this point, the other warriors in camp had noticed the commotion and they gathered around us. "Emberstar? What's going on?"

"Leafclaw!" Emberstar's voice was relieved as he looked up towards his deputy. "Tell me, why is this intruder in our camp?"

"That's my son! What are you talking about?" My mother, Graybelly, exclaimed as she pushed through the crowd.

Emberstar narrowed his eyes at her. "Graypaw, stop speaking nonsense. You're too young to be a mother. Shouldn't you be out training anyways?"

The warriors broke out in confused murmurs at that.

"Emberstar, stop. That's Graybelly, my mother. Don't you remember?" I fixed my blue eyes on Emberstar, willing the leader to snap out of it.

In response, the dark red tom lunged at me.

Graybelly leapt to my defense, knocking Emberstar off course and then planting herself firmly in front of me. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved that I was okay or embarrassed that my mother had just saved me. Though, I _was_ a medicine cat. Thus, I wasn't exactly known for fantabulous fighting skills or anything.

Leafclaw padded quickly to Emberstar's side. "Emberstar? Don't you remember Graybelly and Quailfoot? I promise you, they're SandClan cats."

The leader's gaze swung between me, Graybelly, and Leafclaw.

"Whatever," he ground out after a long moment. "I'm going to visit Aspenwing. I heard Nettlekit and Flamekit were begging for a badger ride yesterday and I don't want them to tire her out."

All of SandClan watched, stunned, as Emberstar stalked towards the nursery.

Leafclaw looked pretty uneasy and I glanced around for Dawnflight, but she had to still be in the den. _Someone needs to take charge…_ With an internal sigh, I summoned my stoic stability and waved my tail to garner SandClan's attention.

"Everyone, please calm down. Emberstar hit his head on a rock last night, so I'm sure this was just a repercussion of that. Dawnflight and I will make sure he snaps out of it soon," I mewed calmly.

The warriors shot me looks which I knew were hiding their distrust of me. _We don't trust this cat to heal_ our _wounds. Why should we trust him to help our leader?_ Their obvious thoughts rang through my head and I held back from flinching.

Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to repel and shut out my Clanmates like I had. At least Graybelly was on my side.

I turned my attention to Leafclaw. He was the deputy, so now was his chance to get me and the Clan out of this mess.

"Quailfoot is right. He and Dawnflight will handle the situation," Leafclaw mewed, his tone naturally ringing with authority. "Let's just return to our patrols. I'll try and keep Emberstar's attention for the moment."

The warriors slowly nodded and returned to their duties. I headed back to the medicine cat den just as a screech rang from the nursery.

" _Where is Aspenwing? Where are our kits?_ " Emberstar was yowling.

I winced. We should have realized that was going to happen. Maybe Leafclaw was willing to pretend to be Aspenwing for a little bit? I'd never met Aspenwing or Emberstar's kits – they'd died before I was born – but surely, if Emberstar had already confused Leafclaw for his mate once, he could do it again.

Sliding into the medicine cat den, my thoughts halted at the sight of my mentor slumped on the floor.

 _Oh StarClan. Please tell me this isn't what it appears to be…_

I padded quickly over to my mentor's side and rested my paw on her flank.

She wasn't breathing.

Bowing my head in grief, I pulled my paw away from Dawnflight's side. How could she have passed so quickly? Maybe the stress from Emberstar's outing last night and having to get up in the middle of the night had brought on her untimely death… Still, despite the short time it had been since I had seen her alive, I couldn't be surprised.

Dawnflight _had_ been ancient, after all. I had known it would only be a matter of time.

But _now?_

Now was not the _right_ time. The Clan was already shaken up with Emberstar's incident, something which was still going on as I stood there. SandClan wasn't ready to hear Dawnflight was dead.

Silently making up my mind, I pulled Dawnflight over to her nest by her scruff and arranged her so that it looked like she was sleeping. Tomorrow would be a better day. I'd break the news then.

 _I'm sorry, Dawnflight. This isn't what I deserved,_ I thought, my heart throbbing with grief. Dawnflight had, aside from being my mentor, had quickly grown into a close friend. She had almost been like a grandmother of sorts, what with her age yet her caring nature.

Now that she was dead, all of SandClan depended on me and me alone.

Woo-hoo.

I gently licked my mentor's forehead, then straightened and turned away. I was caught off guard by a shimmering form standing just inside the den.

"Rowanberry." I dipped my head in greeting towards my StarClan mentor, the former SandClan medicine cat who had guided me throughout my time as a medicine cat.

"Quailfoot." Rowanberry's amber eyes gleamed with grief as she inclined her head towards Dawnflight. "I'm sorry."

"Her time had come," I stated, though the words felt hollow on my tongue.

The StarClan she-cat sighed, her gaze meeting mine again. "I honor your courage. However, there are more important things to discuss. Emberstar is sick, and you deserve know the same as we do in StarClan."

I managed a frown. "That doesn't sound good."

Rowanberry laughed slightly. "I suppose. And it's true that StarClan doesn't know much about it either. But you are strong. You will find a way through this."

"It is Emberstar who needs strength," I pointed out, but beckoned for her to continue. I was lucky that StarClan was going to share with me, and I intended to listen to every word Rowanberry had to say.

The russet she-cat nodded, sitting slightly. "What Emberstar has is called the Dark Forest's Wrath. Only a few cats have ever had it, but it causes them to, at random, revert to a previous state of mind."

"Emberstar thought he was in the past," I breathed.

Rowanberry nodded. "Exactly. Over time, he'll go further and further back. If he lives long enough, he'll eventually return to believing he's Emberkit."

" _If_ he lives long enough?" I echoed.

I shifted my paws, my mind still rushing to devour the pieces of information Rowanberry had already given me. If Emberstar was going to randomly change mindsets, we would have to keep him in camp at all times… Otherwise, Emberstar might revert during the middle of a hunting patrol, per say.

"He will lose his remaining lives in quick succession, most likely. Oftentimes in his sleep, the sickness will claim another life." Rowanberry's head was low as she stated this, her gaze averting mine.

"How long do you think he has left?" I asked shakily.

Rowanberry sighed, forcing herself to meet my gaze again. "Anywhere from a few days to three moons. It will be a hard and tumultuous time for the Clan, and both SandClan and Leafclaw in particular will need your support. I know you have held back from your Clanmates before, but you need them to believe in you now. You are SandClan's only medicine cat, and if they do not trust you, then SandClan will be no stronger than a colony of ants."

My StarClan mentor rose back to her paws, turned, and moved to slide out of my den.

As she left, she paused to crush an ant crawling across the floor.

I watched her go in silence, easily deconstructing her last motion. It was time I stopped letting Dawnflight shine and started glowing myself.

. - . - . - . leafclaw . - . - . - .

"Emberstar! It's okay, Aspenwing and your kits simply went for a walk outside of camp," I exclaimed, trying to calm my leader and friend down.

He swung his head to glare at me. "Stop lying to me, Leafclaw. Their nest is gone, and their scent is, too. What happened to them? Where are they? Did that intruder 'Quailfoot' do something to them?"

To be completely, utterly, whole-heartedly honest, I, the loyal deputy of SandClan, was panicking. I had absolutely no idea what to do or how to quell Emberstar. What was he even thinking? Aspenwing and their kits had been dead for _seasons_! Why was he suddenly believing them to be alive all of the sudden? Did hitting his head on that rock _really_ cause all of this damage?

I never thought I ever be so relieved to see Quailfoot as I was in the moment he slid into the nursery, some herbs in his jaws.

"Emberstar, Dawnflight requested that I bring these herbs to you," Quailfoot stated.

His eyes glimmered at Dawnflight's name, and I was mostly surprised to see some sort of emotion ever come from the stoic tom.

My attention returned to my leader as he swung his gaze to glare at Quailfoot. "You again," he grunted.

"Dawnflight says you can find Aspenwing and your kits after you take these herbs. She said it was an order – they'll help clear your mind so you think better." Quailfoot didn't flinch under Emberstar's glare, which I had to give him credit for.

Emberstar glanced at me. "Leafclaw? Do I trust this intruder is actually quoting Dawnflight and doing what she said?"

I almost heaved a sigh of relief to see that Emberstar might just cooperate. "Yes! I promise Quailfoot is trustworthy. If I'm correct, these herbs will also sharper your senses so you can search for them better."

Quailfoot, catching on, nodding sagely. "Yes. Dawnflight wants you to have fully sharpened senses to search for Aspenwing with."

Slowly, Emberster approached the herbs. He gave them a quick sniff before eating them, his tail tip twitching impatiently.

"You've done what Dawnflight wanted – she said you could go find Aspenwing as soon as you ate the herbs," Quailfoot told Emberstar.

The leader looked at him for a long second, nodded, and then pushed past the gray tabby out of the nursery. I stared quizzically at Quailfoot, flicking an ear at him. "What did you feed him?"

"Thyme and poppy seeds. In a few moments he'll be asleep, and hopefully he'll be back to normal when he wakes up," Quailfoot stated.

After a moment, I nodded to him. "Okay then. I'm surprised Dawnflight didn't bring the herbs herself." _You're not exactly a hands-on tom, and Dawnflight is always padding around camp doing medicine cat stuff._

Quailfoot narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "She was busy."

"Okay." I met his gaze, then started towards the entrance. I wasn't fond of Quailfoot, but StarClan wouldn't have allowed a bad cat to be one of their medicine cats.

In a few hours, I learned quite a lot of information from Quailfoot. The most stunning fact was that Dawnflight was not busy. Rather, she was dead. The most important fact was the description of Emberstar's sickness. Quailfoot told me Dawnflight would have to be reported dead tomorrow, after the Clan had more time to deal with Emberstar's situation. He also said that soon enough, I was going to be leader.

That wasn't what I had been hoping to hear, but it wasn't like I could change fate.

Hopefully fate would let SandClan survive the rest of Emberstar's lifespan.

. - . - . - . emberstar . - . - . - .

I had always thought that I had to be strong for my Clan. In the past few days, it had suddenly turned the opposite way around. My Clan was now trying to be strong for me.

But maybe, just maybe, I had twisted this whole conception around.

Earlier, I had tried to be strong so my Clan could be strong. Now, my Clan tried to be strong so _I_ could be strong. It was as if one depended on the other, and if one of us was weak, the whole package was weak.

The problem was that I _was_ weak. I wasn't strong. Not anymore.

And thus, my Clan was weak, too.

Maybe it wasn't one of us being strong for the other. After all, if my Clan was weak, then I would be a rather strong leader in comparison.

So perhaps me being weak made my Clan strong.

The Clan survives because weakness does not last forever. Apprentices are trained so that they have the skills to live and support. Elders who spent their earlier days serving the Clan stay in the elders' den for no more than a few seasons, a short time compared to their many moons of warriorhood.

Weakness, like strength, is always temporary.

 _Life_ is always temporary.

As it stands, I'm dragging my Clan down. I'm well aware of that. The strong and fierce Clan that I prided myself on is uncertain and nervous. It's my job to fix that, being their leader.

Being their leader, it's my job to remove the problem.

And this time, the problem is me.

It's been explained to me that I do not have long to live. However, every day I spend with my Clan weakens them further.

If I make myself weak by leaving the Clan, then the Clan I leave behind will become strong.

Night has fallen, and I'm crouched in my nest as I think. I had already made my decision earlier, between another bout of revolting, but it is hard to follow through. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. But the last thing I can do for my Clan is make the choice that is right for them.

It's simply not right for me, but I'll have to deal with that.

I forced myself onto my paws and slid out of my den, the camp dark and silent. Tonight, the moon has widened from the claw scratch it once was, so it will be easier for me to escape. Within a few moments I'm out in the territory, running away from my Clanmates and the camp I have strived to protect.

Past our borders lies wilderness, unclaimed land where the only cats there are rogues and loners. A perfect haven for me to hide in.

I hesitated briefly on the border. Once I cross, there will be no going back.

Once I cross, my Clan will have the chance to grow strong again.

We are not RockClan, hiding in caves and under rocks. We are not WaveClan, relying on the ocean to bring us our food. We are not TideClan, prowling tide pools for easy catches.

But we _are_ SandClan. Timeless, strong, and fierce.


	3. Seashore, Seashore

**Welp, I'm back again with another one-shot! This one is also a challenge from Beach Warriors, and this one is done is also first person but it is present tense instead of past tense with thoughts in present, which I've done in the first two. I don't have a lot to say, so I'll just get straight into the prompt:**

 **"So basically, it's about Stormkit. From birth to washing up on the shore and becoming part of Waveclan. I would like it to be about her, Lightningdapple's death, and what made Tornadostrike's snap, and throwing Stormkit off a cliff. Any point of view is fine. You can make it traumatizing memories or just tell the story."**

 **Again, I took creative liberties here and am somewhat changing the challenge. I am, again, not using the actual characters to make things freer for me. Stormkit's position is filled by Blaze with her own parents filling Lightningdapple and Tornadostrike's death.**

 **There is admittedly little (aka probably poor) proofreading on this chapter, as I only wrote it today and I normally do my best proofreading if I wait a day between actually writing it. I did look it over, but chances are I missed some words/mistakes.**

 **With that said, please read and enjoy! Reviews are always welcome - especially if you have constructive** **criticism** **. I'd love to hear it!**

* * *

 **Seashore, Seashore**

. - . - . - . blaze . - . - . - .

 _Come…_

The seashore has always called to me. Waves undulating against the shore, the whoosh of the wind scoring over the water. Seagulls dip low in the air, skimming along the sea with wingtips brushing the ocean. The crabs scuttle along the sand when the tide is low, tantalizingly close but always just out of reach.

When I am one with the seas, I am safe. I am well. The ocean is peace. It is beauty and protection.

Yet there is no peace in reaching the waters I long for. The cliff remains between us, always cutting a sharp, steep drop between my home and the place I wish to see.

"Blaze? I told you not to go too close to the cliff. You're still small – if the wind picks up, you could be blown right off!"

I turn to see my mother. She's tall, with a pointed muzzle and round amber eyes that watch me keenly. I am happy to have her eyes – eyes as warm and strong as thunder.

Sometimes thunder rumbles across the sea. Storms break and lightning fills the sky, leaping down to touch the water in a game of tag, but the lightning is always it. The thunder is always there, just a step behind the lightning and cheering them on. I'm never sure which side the thunder cheers for.

My mother is thunder, too, both by name and by personality. She is always strong, always there – but always a step too late. She cheers me on, has raised me for the few moons of my existence alongside my father, but she does not share my love for the sea.

No one seems to.

My father is the lightning to my mother's thunder – he is always moving, silent but sure. He runs as fast as the rabbits, but he is as quiet as the night sky. He flashes into my life every now and then before disappearing off into the trees again. I share his bright golden tabby pelt.

I like to think that I am the storm to their lightning and their thunder. In the end, no matter what happens as they flash and bang, they always return to me. I am like the storms we see here, drawn to the sea, drawn to the water where the seagulls dive and the crabs scuttle.

"I'll be fine," I respond breezily, but I obediently pad closer to Thunder. "There's barely a cloud in the sky!"

"The weather can change fast," my mother answers firmly. She gives me a quick lick on the forehead. "Come on. Let's head back to the den – your father will have surely brought some prey back by now."

I nod, and so we walk back away from the cliff and into the trees, winding our path through them until we reach our homely little den. Already I am missing the slight breeze that glanced off the ocean onto my pelt, the raucous cries of the seagulls as they fight over a fish, and the aromatic smell of the seaweed on the sand.

"Thunder, Blaze. We've a feast today – I found a whole nest of mice."

My father. I look up at him, my amber eyes tracing over the scars lacing his pelt. One runs over the bridge of his nose, always in sight; meanwhile, his ears are heavily shredded.

He's never told me where he got his scars. They are simply a part of him, no story to share.

But I am curious. I wish to know more. Still, I have learned that there is no point in asking, for I will never receive the answers that I seek.

Somedays, when I see him, it feels as if I barely recognize him. I rarely see my father, only when he brings back prey and when we sleep in the den at night. I fear one day I'll forget his face entirely and I'll never find him again.

It is a petty fear, I tell myself time and time again, but those words didn't stop me from memorizing his pelt.

"That's wonderful!" Thunder purrs. She touches her nose to my father's, then crouches next to the pile of mice to eat.

I join them silently. When my father is with me, I am always quiet. I hang off of every word he says, and I commit each word and teaching to memory. I inhale his scent – today, a mousy smell with stale moss mixed in – and store that away, too.

"Where were you and Blaze?" my father questions my mother.

"She was on the cliff again."

He frowns. " _Again?_ Blaze, when will you learn that there's nothing there for you by the ocean? I've told you so many times. We are not water cats. Even if there was a path down the cliff, we've no reason to travel there."

That is the one teaching I don't follow.

The sea brings me life. It brings me joy – satisfaction. In a world where the forest has trapped me in, the cliff is my haven. There, I may look out at a world beyond, an endless plain of possibilities.

"Blaze? Did you hear me?"

My father is waiting for a response. I nod, and duck my head slightly, focusing my amber gaze on my paws. If only they would understand the calls the ocean sends me….

"Good."

He straightens and starts padding away, starting to disappear back into the undergrowth.

"Where are you going?" my mother asks.

She is too late. He is already gone.

The darkness of night is encroaching upon us, and so Thunder herds me towards our den. I slide inside and curl up on the moss… tomorrow will be a new day.

. - . - . - . blaze . - . - . - .

I am four moons old. The sea is my haven, the ocean my dream, yet my father fails to understand. He zips in and out of my life like lightning, dancing around me but never lingering. My mother is my sole companion, but even she strays from me to do her own things through the days. I am to learn to hunt in another moon. I think I'm ready now, but my parents say I will be more capable when I am older.

My life fails to change. I wander to the ocean every chance I get, the cliff and the steep drop that comes with it the only thing separating me from the water.

Except today.

Today, everything is thrown around.

I sit at the cliff's edge, my eyes closed as I listen to the lapping of the waves and the cries of the seagulls.

Everything is serene until it is not.

A ferocious growling tears me out of my quiet listening. My eyes are wide open, amber gaze jerking behind me to where a large russet creature stands.

I've never seen anything like it, but stories are enough to identify it.

A fox.

I let out a yowl of terror. I am untrained. I know not how to fight nor how to hunt – I am completely, utterly helpless against this creature, and there is no one here to save me. The seagulls are invested in their diving, the crabs in their scuttling, and the fish in their swimming.

The fox prowls towards me. It knows I can do nothing against it.

My life flashes before my eyes as I cower at the cliff's edge. Four moons of life, divided between the ocean's edge and the forest den.

Everything changes again. My mother is suddenly haring from the tree line towards me and the fox, running silently with her ears flat against her skull.

During a storm, thunder is always there. But thunder is also always a second too late. It never leads the charge – it can only follow lightning.

And today, I am her lightning.

It's not a very comforting thought, and I tear my gaze back to the fox as it looms over me, paw raised to strike.

As I prepare for the blow, I note that there is a scar across the fox's nose bridge. It reminds me of my father. Where is he?

Suddenly, though, the fox is slammed into from behind and rolls toward the cliff's edge. I scramble out of the way, my eyes widening as I see my mother rolling with the fox. She tries to scramble away as they near the edge of the cliff, but the fox has gotten a grip on her.

Together, the ground vanishes from under them and they fall.

Thunder barely has enough time to reach out a paw to grab a clump of grass at the side of the cliff, the momentum of the fall allowing her to finally escape the fox's clutches as the russet beast falls down to the sand and the ocean below.

I race forwards. "I-I-"

Words are lost on my tongue. There is nothing for me to say as I scramble towards my mother and desperately start leaning over the cliff edge to grab her scruff.

"Don't," Thunder orders. "You're not strong enough. I'd simply pull you over with me. Just… give me some space."

Slowly, I back away again.

It's this moment that my father rushes into the scene. His eyes are wide as he darts towards my mother, his gaze only on her. My amber eyes settle on the scar across the bridge of his nose, just like the fox's.

"Thunder! Don't worry, I've got you," my father tells her.

I have never seen fear in his steadfast gaze before. It unnerves me more than I already am.

My mother struggles to get her second paw up onto the cliff's edge, swinging her weight from one side to the other so she has a better chance of reaching the ledge.

The actions cause her pawhold on the grass to fail.

Blades of grass torn and stuck in her claws are the last sight I have of my mother. Then she is falling, falling, gone. Down to the ocean with the fox.

" _Thunder!_ " my father cries, horror etched on his face. Slowly, he turns towards me, his pelt bushed out. "I told you not to hang out by the cliff! Now see what you've done? Thunder is _dead_!"

I flatten my ears as he takes a step towards me, looming over me like the fox did. My eyes are stuck on the familiar scar on his nose bridge.

Then, he heaves a sigh, hanging his head. "She died saving your life, Blaze. Let this be a lesson to you. If you had only done what we had told you, this wouldn't have happened. But there is no point in anger. We must continue."

"Continue?" I shiver. That word feels… wrong. Continue without Thunder? There is no storm, no lightning, without thunder.

"Go back to the den. I have things to do," my father orders. Then he turns and is off.

He is lightning once more. Flashing in and out.

I realize slowly that, today, I was my mother's lightning. I flashed through her life in these past four moons – and today, she was one second too late to escape the fox.

. - . - . - . blaze . - . - . - .

I am five moons old. My father has grown increasingly diffident. He can no longer be lightning. He must teach me to hunt and to fight; constantly slipping out of my life is impossible, and it hard on him. I can tell. Suddenly, he is anchored to the troublesome kit who loves the ocean and he cannot escape.

He never fails to remind me that my mother's death is my fault. Each passing day, the reminder grows more and more vehement.

I used to fear losing my father.

Now, that would be a blessing. But without him, I am helpless. I have only begun to learn how to survive on my own. I would starve by the moon's end.

I haven't gone to the ocean at all in the past moon. I am always with my father – and nevertheless, I don't think I can see the sea without remembering my mother clinging to the cliff.

"Blaze, stop standing there like a pile of fox-dung and start moving!"

I jump as my father's voice reaches my ears. I look up at him, the scar on his nose all I can see. It is all I _have_ seen since the fox.

"Where are we going?" I ask timidly. My voice is quiet, reserved.

His is not. His is booming. His is thunder.

"To the cliff, rabbit-brain! Have you not been listening to _anything_ I've been saying?" His eyes glitter angrily and I shudder. He cuffs my ears roughly and I wince, my ears stinging from the blows.

I nod silently. When he glares at me again, I jump into a sprint, racing towards the cliffside. I can't face the cliff, but it is better than facing my father's anger.

We reach the cliff soon, and I turn my gaze towards the forest.

"Blaze. Stand at the cliff's edge and look at the ocean," my father orders.

I shuffle my paws, but I don't do as he says.

A mistake.

He strikes his claws down my cheek and I jump. "I said to stand at the cliff's edge and look at the water!"

I rush into motion, quickly doing what he told me. I resist the urge to close my eyes as I look down.

"You haven't gone here at all in the past moon. Why not?" my father asks. His voice is soft – dangerously soft.

"Because this- this is where she died," I breath.

He clouts my ear. "Correct. And whose fault was that?" he snarls.

"Mine."

"That's right, mange-pelt. You stood by and did nothing, _absolutely nothing_ , while she clung there. You let the fox pull her off the cliff. _You_ were the one who gave her no choice but to attack the fox!"

I shiver. "No… she didn't have to. She shouldn't have saved me. Should have saved her own life."

My father tenses behind me. "That's exactly it, Blaze." He chuckles slightly. "And today, I'm going to make things right."

I turn, my fur fluffing up at those words. When I look at my father, he is no longer the golden tabby he has always been.

His face is scrunched with anger as he glares at me, the scar across my father's nose suddenly becoming the fox's scar in my eyes.

My memory of the fox flashes through my mind and terror makes it way onto my face.

"What's wrong, _Blaze_?" my father sneers. He says my name like it's something insulting. "Scared of the water? I would think that after spending your entire life pining after the ocean, you'd be happy to go down there."

"P-please!" I gasp. "Please, don't do this!"

My father doesn't seem to hear me. He lunges forwards, and in an instantly I'm tumbling off the cliff, my paws unable to find purchase.

I am falling down, down, down to the ocean.

Maybe I was wrong about everything. My father is not lightning and I am not the storm. My mother was thunder in name and heart, a second too late to escape the fox. I am lightning, flashing through the lives of my parents. And my father is the storm, unable to have lightning without thunder.

As if on cue, the skies open up and rain pours down on my head.

I hit the water.

Everything goes black.

. - . - . - . blaze . - . - . - .

Slowly, my eyes crack open. I am lying in a mossy nest with a pawful of strange cats talking nearby.

"Wh-where am I?" I gasp, struggling to get to my paws.

My chest flares with pain as I move. The impact against the water must have broken some ribs. I yowl with pain as I fall back into my nest, resigning to as little movement as possible.

The cats turn to look at me, their faces relieved.

"You're awake!" a long-furred white she-cat mews. She pads quickly towards me. "I'm Snowcloud, medicine cat of WaveClan. Fernclaw and his patrol found you washed up on the shore, and they brought you back to camp."

I flatten my ears, confused. Medicine cat? WaveClan?

"You broke some ribs, so you're going to have to rest for a moon or two while they heal," Snowcloud continues. She pauses, then asks, "What happened? How did you end up in the ocean? Surely your parents are smart enough not let their kit be washed away!"

Memories flash through my mind.

 _"That's exactly it, Blaze. And today, I'm going to make things right."_

I shudder in my nest, then freeze as it ensues more pain for me. Like lightning, the pain flashes through my body, slowly dying down. "I…"

"Don't want to talk about it?" Snowcloud guessed.

I nod.

Snowcloud gives me a reassuring purr. "That's okay. WaveClan is going to take care of you while you recover, okay? And Crabstar said he's willing to let you join the Clan if that's what you wish when you've healed."

I nod again.

"Could you tell me your name, though? That way I know what to call you," Snowcloud mews.

 _Blaze._

My name flashes through my mind, but I find myself unwilling to say it. Not when it is also His name. Not when I am named after Him.

"No again? Do you not remember?" Snowcloud tilts her head, studying me. "Well then, I think we'll call you Lightningkit."

Lightningkit.

I muster a grin, my amber gaze flashing over my golden tabby pelt. "Sounds fitting."


End file.
